Saturday, April 2, 2011

Angry Black Woman Syndrome

So earlier today I was doing a couple of loads of laundry in the basement when I hear shouts, claps, stomps and a barrage of "hell yeahs" coming from the den upstairs. I thought maybe my hubby had won another round of Fight Night 4 on the Playstation so I payed it no mind. But then when I walked into the room I realized that he wasn't playing his game but instead he was learning the game. He invited me into the room saying "Sit down babe, you need to see this". So I did and what I saw changed my perception of a lot of people.
What were we watching you ask? It was a film called Diary of a Tired Black Man and it was sort of like a documentary I guess. It showed how much of a struggle it is to be with an angry black woman. The film started with a brief film clip showing a black woman and her friends dogging a black man for dating a white woman. The man who is played by Tim Alexander (who is actually the creator of the film) then sets all of the woman straight, basically telling them that the attitude that they were displaying was the reason that he had been driven into the arms of the white woman.
Now you know I am not the one to feed into any type of stereotypes but Alexander actually diagnoses the attitudes that many black woman have as Angry Black Woman Syndrome. Now sista's I immediately said "Oh hell no" when I heard this but I had agreed to always be open minded and hear things out before I instantly judged ( which obviously another thing that black women do...making snap judgements.). But after watching the film and soaking in what Alexander says I hate to say but I actually agree with some of it.
Now let me just say that Angry Black Woman Syndrome(ABWS) is not an actual medical condition, it is just something that the film maker made up. But just think about it though, as a black woman have you ever been over the top pissed for no reason? If you are not a black woman have you ever gotten into an unnecessary confrontation with a black woman over something so petty and trivial that at the end you couldn't even remember what you are arguing about. Let me be the first to admit that I have a mild case of ABWS, I start off a lot of my thoughts with Oh hell no's and most of my dialogue is extremely colorful. I get mad as hell for no reason sometimes to the point where my chest is heaving and I see red. Twisting my neck and snapping my fingers while I talk is almost second nature.Okay maybe I have more than a mild case, but that's okay. According to the film the reason why black woman fly off the handle is because of mis-placed hatred due to deep seeded issues from childhood. Being abandoned and abused by every man you have known since childhood causes a lot of emotional damage to black women, and it's sad that most times it goes on being mis-diagnosed as being a strong black woman. What's even more sad is the damaging relationships that we get into looking for love in all the wrongs places, having babies with some of the most trifling men in the world in hopes that we can change them...but we don't and we can't. And being in these relationships causes more damage than we can handle, which causes us to be more angry. Interesting...another vicious cycle.
Now to my male readers, don't read this and think it gives you an excuse to be trifling, your girl is not tripping just because she has ABWS. Step your game up for your woman and make it easier for her to lift her head and have some pride. Ladies, we all know that this is not an actual condition so don't think that there is something wrong with you. But do take heed to the message, let all that past baggage go so that you can have a better tomorrow. #Imjustsaying.

Please do check out Diary of a Tired Black Man by Tim Alexander, whether you agree or disagree at

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